today has been a rough day. i was a couch rot potato for the majority of the morning. my main goal was to sit there, drink some coffee, and question my life choices. and mope. have you ever had that kind of day? good lord it happens more than i want to admit.
today, Martin Luther King Jr. day, is supposed to be a day of remembrance. a day to honor a great man who ultimately had his life ended too soon due to just plain hate. it should be the biggest embarrassment to our country--to lose a great, principled, kind, smart man to the most insane hate crime in the modern history. i would argue that the current state of hatred in our country would be a bigger embarrassment. it just never ceases to blow my mind.
nevertheless, my mopey ass was in serious need of a glimmer of some kind. when you're mopey you don't tend to look for glimmers, but when they hit you, you realize all of the ones that were there all along.
my beloved felix texted me several times today. i tend to take what i can get with him. my fears for him, his health, safety, and wellbeing have been at the front of my mind since the election. nothing has given me any assurance that he would be spared in terms of healthcare and safety until today. while the orange circus master was giving speeches declaring that "there are only two genders", kiddo was getting much needed assurances from his nurse practitioner. she assured him that they were fighting for his right to healthcare, for the continuation of his gender affirming care. for those of you who don't really understand the gravity of that situation, i will spare you the details for now, but suffice it to say, that statement from his NP was a major glimmer for me. i can only imagine how it must feel for him. he let me know that he is good to go for at least the next year.
earlier this morning, as i was in my rotting potato state, i almost texted my bestie tishie to cancel our starbs date. you know i have to be foul to not want starbs or tishie time. i got a text from her confirming a time, and i let her know i was foul. she let me know, as she always does, that i could be foul and she would be there to listen. i'm so glad i dragged my ass to the shower, to pick her up, and get that starbs fix. bestie time and starbs is always a glimmer, even when you don't appreciate it for what it is in the moment.
after dinner, troy let me know he needed to go to the store for tea....and treats. so aurora sue and i accompanied him to the freshes markets to get said items. he comes back with two bags full of treats. you must know that my ability to eat said treats is limited. this tiny tummy of mine isn't a fan of sugar even if former fat amy loves the sugar. that said, after i finish this diatribe, i am heading back upstairs to eat said corn muffins and cookies. he knows me so well. that is a major glimmer.
friends, even when you're in a state of rotting potato, a dumpy gross mess, when your ankles are cold because your socks are too short, and when you just want to mope, there are glimmers. sometimes you have to breathe for a second to see them. when you relax long enough to appreciate them, it sure does turn it around for you. i'm not saying my hate fire is gone for the day (and hate fire is probably an understatement--i've wanted to cut everyone with a rusty blade today), but i'm feeling my body and mind calm down some.
gratitude, glimmers, and good friends and family tend to be a balm to the mopey soul. i'm very thankful to have all of those in my life today.
tomorrow is a new day, friends. as my other bestie and lifelong blue dot partner in crime said to me today: only 1459 more days. we got this. right?
love you, mean it. 💙💙💙
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